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Comestay

Abstract
I see myself at about eleven years old walking along the River Nun, the rain spitting, unsuitably clad in my wet dungarees. I remember thinking, Mammy Water is the luckiest deity. She never gets drunk, everyone sings her praises, and she gets the best out of everyone. I wondered to myself if perhaps she could hear, not just my words, but my thoughts. My fate seemed sealed, set in stone at the riverbank before I was born. My parents called me Botimi, which means ‘Comestay’ in the Izon language, so that, hopefully, I’d live‒‒unlike the two babies before me who never even got the chance to sprout their first teeth. Comestay is a collection of personal narratives written through the multiplicity of the self. Within these essays, I explore an array of memories, including those of my mother and my grandma. It takes us on a voyage beyond the banks of the River Nun in Oporoma, Nigeria, where my parents were born, and out into the turquoise waters of my first Swedish summer. The river intrigues me. In summer, at dawn, it mirrors my soul’s deepest desires. During a Swedish winter, however, it morphs into a cold rock, much like my truth—the story behind my severed clitoris. From women protesting outside the Australian Parliament House, carrying placards advocating for change, to disturbing incidents in a New Zealand bar, where two brothers spike drinks and commit acts of rape, the narratives shift. I’m compelled to confront my own demons; thrown in jail for wearing a white, loosely woven, knee-length dress. It is through these encounters that I find the strength to explore the enduring impact of violence on women’s bodies‒‒across landscapes and generations. Through extensive research and the interweaving of my personal stories and memories, I aim to shed light on the profound and lasting effects that trauma can have on women. Like a river that starts with a trickle and gains strength along the way, I navigate these narratives with a curious mind. How does the global impact the personal? What does it truly feel like to be black, a woman, a mother, or a daughter, in a world that is designed to exclude you? These essays go beyond observation, asking some tough questions and serving as a rallying cry for action. They are a call to not only advocate for greater gender equality, but also for deep systemic change. They aim to contribute to the growing body of work seeking to create a more equitable and inclusive world for all. Every life matters, regardless of background or colour. Black, white, pink or brown. As we come together in strength, like the river, we become a force of nature, carving new paths, and reshaping our world for future generations.
Type
Thesis
Series
Citation
Date
2024
Publisher
The University of Waikato
Rights
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