An ethnographer shares his insights from the field about constructing relationships in research. Focusing on a case study in a New Zealand area school, he reflects on his experiences in the field and the key issues he struggled with related to building relationships. He explores these issues from three theoretical perspectives: building ethical relationships, building trustworthy and authentic relationships, and building relationships as methodology. After identifying these key issues, he discusses some of the choices made in the field, including becoming deeply involved in the school, balancing remaining true to the data and at the same time respecting the dignity of participants, and creating friendships.